Come to Cleveland and See the River That's On Fire

This video was purportedly made for the Cleveland tourism board in a hasty fashion. At least that's the premise, anyway. It's really just some hilarious guy on YouTube. Can you believe that?! Go figure! Wharf!

I know it has nothing to do with the Eric Fensler challenge, but someone's got to post shit to the blog. Step it up, Cock Knockiltree.

This blog will never end

Nathan - worry not. I've got another challenge. Spotlight on an artist: Eric Fensler. Eric Fensler writes for Tim & Eric, and did those awesome GI Joe PSAs that flew around the net years ago. Find another awesome Fensler clip to post:

Holy Shit...

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit....

Dude I think that's it. That might be the end of this blog. Seriously The Apple fucks Gymkata in the ass and brakes Bravestarr's teeth down it's throat. Could we have finally found the best trailer on earth?

Let's break it down. In ultra-future of 1994, two kids try to get into the music industry and meet Satan or something? Dude sign me up.

Needless to say, my brother and I will be putting together screenings across the country of the Apple as soon as we can procure it. Please look for us in your local community centers, elk lodges and nursing homes. This movie's glory will not go malnourished and un-viewed.

Nathan, You Cannot Beat "The Apple"

I found this on whythatsdelightful, and I'm afraid that there's little you can do to beat this trailer, Nathan. A pity, really. *Pets cat, grins toothily*

Kayne West, South Park

I gotta start watching South Park again.


Kayne apparently liked it, according to this review he wrote on his blog in ALL CAPS. Now I know who's been sending me that nearly intelligible spam mail.

I Have Found the Worst Queen Song Ever Written

Queen actually did this. They could have had Freddy Mercury just breeze through another great song, but they let some other guy write and sing one. These lyrics speak for themselves:

The machine of a dream
Such a clean machine
With the pistons a pumpin
And the hub caps all gleam

When Im holdin your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When my hands on your grease gun
Oh its like a disease son

Im in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar
Such a thrill when your radials squeal

Told my girl Ill have to forget her
Rather buy me a new carburetor
So she made tracks sayin
This is the end now
Cars dont talk back
Theyre just four wheeled friends now

When Im holdin your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When Im cruisin in overdrive
Dont have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive

Im in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
Im in love with my car
String back gloves in my automolove

Jesus, guys. C'mon.

Did I Just See That?

Can someone please watch this video and tell me if I saw the thing that I thought I saw? When you get to the part with the thing I think I saw, you'll know it. Most likely because you'll think you saw the thing I thought I saw when you see it.

EMBED-Dr Shine Is Gods Top Gun - Watch more free videos

KISS Shreads (and 'shrings')

This one takes a while to get started, but give it a chance, Nave. I know you hip Brooklynites are quick to judge.

The My New Orange Shirt Show

My buddy and sometimes writing partner Adam Mutterperl whipped this up. I think the name's hilarious enough on its own, but he added another spin on it that makes it especially brilliant. I think it's something that is going to play really well with our audience (i.e. Nathan).

For Andy...

April Fools

Bitch please. I knew about that lil' John mashup for a good long time. You think I only post new stuff? Bitch please(er). Here's something new - it's Qualcomm's april fools joke. I barely knew who they were or what they did, but now I do. They're those guys that made that funny April Fool's video.

Time To Hunkercise Bitch!

Oh, did you just discover that little john mash up in LA? I saw that months ago- get with it it mutherfucker. Here's something you folks across the country will discover in a about three months no doubt.

You're Going to Need a Shower After This One, Nave

This is Genius!!!

So this is not really a response to our previous battle, Ochiltree, but it was too good to not post about. Here's Santana at his best with a stunning jam out performance!

Retort, retart

What the hell is that trailer you posted about anyway? I mean, I can tell that it has ninjas with gardening/tunneling skills and a leader who's had at least a year of junior high school band, but I don't know what they do except jump kick inanimate objects and teleport. Are the spiders their rivals? Or a thinly veiled metaphor for man's fear of the unknown? Jewish, maybe? Just to show you I'm not all about ninjas, here's a little something:



And karate/ninja-ness aside, I found this and it's too great not to post:



He's a finely tuned killing machine, provided there's a pummel horse or parallel bars within reach.

S'not Bad...

You had to bring in Ninjas? That's sooooooo '07. S0 this response might not seem great, but it might take some of your edge off 'ochiltree' (what kind of name is that anyway?). This is especially good if you hate these things: ice, shingles, forest tigers. But especially effective if you like these things: Drawn out boring voice overs, awersome whistles and (ugh) ninjas. Please enjoy. 

Booyakasha

Round 2

Consider this trailer for "Lethal Ninja" a warning shot, Nave. It's good enough to get things started, but I think we can do much better. GO!

Well played, Nave. Here's that white flag you asked for.

After an hour of searching on YouTube, I realized that there is nothing I can find in the known video that could possibly compete with this:

And so, it's with a heavy heart that I offer my congratulations, and all semblance of manhood, over to my brother. May his loins forever burn from the fire of this victory. ADDENDUM: The best competition I could find was another Bravestarr clip, this one from the Bravestarr movie. Yes, there was a movie. And yes, it looks like it was total shit.



JUST HOW IN THE HELL DOES THE MOON WORK IN NEW TEXAS???

Riposite(sp?)- Brave Starr

You had to go right for my jugular by whipping out Borgnine(sp?) didn't you!? You know how much I love cabby. However, I think this one might have you beat. I'm stuck between elaborating on how much this video takes you out and not giving too much away so that you can experience it for yourself. So to keep this brief, I'm forced to leave you with only these key points:

- spoken, poetic intro with a melodic motif floating in and out.

- a futuristic planet by the name of 'New Texas'.

- Sweet Native American main character beating up deathly pale looking fellows.

-Animatronic animal menagerie

enjoy

Counter Parry, Strike: AIRWOLF

You've unleashed the beast, Nave. In this intro to the magnificent 80s helicopter drama 'Airwolf' (also known as "Knight Rider in the Sky"), we get ______ ingredients that make a wonderfully ironic bouillabaisse.

• A thumbing synth track
  
• Explosions, explosions, explosions
  
• Ernest Borgnine

What are you waiting for? ERNEST BORGNINE. Go go go!



Bonus Borgnine!